I'm Just Drunk Again
by tin2lo
Summary: Songfic Post-War. George's life is making a downward spiral after the loss of his twin but there are many people to help him pull through, especially an eccentric Ravenclaw. He'll learn that getting drunk won't solve his problems and that the road to closure is taken one step at a time. George/Luna friendship, mostly canon with slight Draco/Luna. Based on "Drunk" by Ed Sheeran


**Took a break from the Narnia realm to try my hand at my first Harry Potter fanfic. This was a thousand times harder to write than I expected. It's a George/Luna friendship fic because I feel Luna was the only one to come out of the war the least affected for lack of a better word because of how she is. Even though she was held captive at Malfoy Manor, she was still unchanged by the end of the war…which is why I think she'd be the best person to heal the brokenhearted. Oh and I also quietly slipped my Harry Potter OTP in there somewhere…sorry but yeah. Please nothing too harsh in the reviews.**

**Disclaimer: All copywrited anything belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. The song "Drunk" belongs to Ed Sheeran.**

It was strange…having someone over. Sure people came and went and customers still wanted joke supplies and his mum and siblings still brought him food from time to time, but after a year's passing, no one really _stayed_ to babysit him in his misery. It's only been a little more than a year since the battle…since the war…since he lost his other half…the Fred to his George. Shouldn't other people be mourning with him as well? Why did they move on so fast? He just couldn't understand it.

But then again, everyone else had their reasons to be happy. Bill and Fleur had a beautiful baby girl born exactly one year after the Battle of Hogwarts, Ron and Hermione were finally together, and Ginny and Harry were planning on marrying once she finished her final year at Hogwarts. But where was his happy ending?

_I wanna be drunk when I wake up  
On the right side of the wrong bed  
And never an excuse I made up  
Tell you the truth I what didn't kill me  
It never made me stronger at all_

To say that George was throwing his life away would have been an understatement. He barely had any reason to live. Sometimes he would wake up and the sun would be shining but the only thing that would go through his mind would be "why won't I just end it all?" But before fear or common sense, could stop his plans, or grief and stupidity could follow through with them, he would look at the picture of their family in Egypt that one holiday. It was a time before everyone was caught up in a war and they could all be together…a happier time. As he stared at the picture he realized that his mum nearly lost one of her sons to the ministry, another to a werewolf, and another dead in the war. Had she not interfered, she would have lost her only daughter on the same day. If she were to lose another child of hers, she might as well have been given the dementor's kiss. He wouldn't do that to her. Losing Fred may have weakened him, but he was strong enough to go on for him mum, if not for anything else.

_Love will scar your make up  
Lips sticks to me, so now I maybe lean back there  
I'm sat here wishing I was sober  
I know I'll never hold you like I used to_

Although he was strong enough to keep himself from doing something as stupid as killing himself, one of the reasons he never visited home much was because he was so used to waking up drunk. He and Fred had built an apartment above their joke shop, but since Fred's death, the apartment as well as the rest of the joke shop might as well have been his own personal Hell. Bless Ron's soul for balancing Auror training and managing the joke shop. If it wasn't for Ron, there would be no more Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. George decided to slowly get up from bed. He'd woken up hungover several times already, you'd figure he'd be used to it by now. But no the pain in his head and throat, like his heart, never truly leave. There were times when George wished he could be sober long enough to get himself looking decent and presentable, maybe surprise is parents or do something to leave the house. But that was just another one of his daily battles. But sobering, shaving, and bathing isn't enough for George to feel as though he is "good enough" to face his family again. When he has his "really bad days" he would find himself in the Leaky Cauldron or The Three Broomsticks or maybe even the Hogs Head for happy hour. And when happy hour was over, and he was well and truly drunk, he would wake up the next morning with lipstick on the side of his mouth and Angelina Johnson in his bed. He didn't know why it was always Angelina. Maybe she needed to grieve as much as he did. She was Fred's girlfriend after all. But when they were both ready to leave the bed (and mutually agree to never speak of it again until the next night – since there was always a next night), there was no anger or shame…just disappointment. And they both knew why. He didn't hold her like Fred used to.

_But a house gets cold when you cut the heating  
Without you to hold I'll be freezing  
Can't rely on my heart to beat in  
'Cos you take parts of it every evening  
Take words out of my mouth just from breathing  
Replace with phrases like 'when you leaving me?'_

He didn't mind it when she left. It's not like they chose this fate. It's not like they were "together, together." What happened between them just happened. And they let it, because in their state, they didn't really know any better. They accepted whatever curve ball life decided to throw at them. Although George had convinced himself that he was fine every time she left, he felt all the more empty. He would shrink back into the covers and pretend the outside world didn't exist. Each day he would hold tight to Fred's pillow and remember times when he and Fred were younger and would sleep next to each other when they were scared or sad. And each time those memories came back to him, he'd feel a piece of his heart break a little more.

Somehow the pain of Angelina's constant leaving mixed with the pain of Fred's absence always left him wondering why people kept destroying him by leaving at all. Every day he would just anticipate it. People (Angelina included) would come and go. George would just let them. Customers came for the jokes, Angelina came for comfort, and if he was lucky, one of his siblings would come to see him. Bill and Fleur used to come around with some of Fleur's cooking and would help straighten out his flat but they stopped a while ago when Victoire was born. George figured he could understand that. They had a baby which is a bigger responsibility. Charlie was in Romania so he never really expected him. Percy came around every once in a while but with caution since he knew that he wasn't the favorite brother in George's eyes, especially because of how he acted during the war. Ginny and Harry would sometimes come around, but George had requested they stopped. Their happiness was too much especially now that they were engaged. Plus, no offense to Harry, but every time George looked at him, memories of the war and his twin would somehow flood back. It was the same with his parents. It was hard for him to look at them just as it was hard for his mother to not cry at the sight of his face. But they tried to endure for each other.

The only one who actually came at a regular time and pace was Ron. At first he only came because Hermione had pushed him. But when Ron started to see the state his big brother was in, he knew he had to step in. George wasn't George anymore and it honestly scared Ron to see him that way. George was grateful for Ron's help. At first he didn't want it but Ron was persistent. Hermione was probably rubbing off on him. George decided to at least attempt to bounce back for his brother especially since Ron was balancing auror training with running the joke shop.

After a while, Ron wasn't the only one coming in regularly to check up on him.

_Should I? Should I?  
Maybe I'll get drunk again  
I'll be drunk again, I'll be drunk again  
To feel a little love_

She had come in one day. He doesn't really remember _exactly _what happened that day considering he had just finished a bottle of firewhisky but he did remember seeing her. Her bright blonde hair helped him comprehend exactly who she was.

Luna Lovegood had recently come back from an expedition. She was currently working on becoming a Wizarding Naturalist/magi-zoologist so why she was checking up on him he wasn't sure why. He showed her the same courtesy that he had shown everyone else. He insisted he was fine and let them decide where to go from there. Luna decided she wasn't going to be like everyone else. Of course…when was Luna Lovegood ever like anyone else. George had respect for her for that particular reason. But still he didn't want her need her…and yet she still stayed.

She came every day with food. She never said anything. She came in gracefully, ethereally, almost ghost like. But there were always sure signs she was there even if he was half passed out. There would be warm food waiting for him on the table, the bath would be drawn with warm water, and the flat would actually look decent enough for visitors. It took him a little while to realize that Ron had agreed to let her help him and had given her a key to his flat. Her efforts mixed with Ron's help…it was the most love he felt in a while.

_I wanna hold your heart in both hands  
Not watch it fizzle at the bottom of a Coke can  
And I got no plans for the weekend, so should we speak then?  
Keep it between friends  
Though I know you'll never love me like you used to_

She wasn't looking for a relationship. Actually she was already in a relationship. She went to him every day because she cared about his wellbeing and she was the only one who wasn't afraid to break down his barriers to do that. His nights with Angelina would come and go and even though at first he was embarrassed to bring her home while Luna was still straightening out his life for him, but luckily she didn't judge. Though she was constantly judged, she never judged others. He won't deny that he had great respect for her. He didn't want a romantic relationship with her, but she did want him to stay so that he felt some form of love and care.

It was because of that that he opened up for the first time. And somehow she knew he was ready to open up to her. She had two cups of tea waiting and more hot water heating on the stove. They didn't start off talking about Fred. They talked about everything else first…dancing around that particular topic.

From her he learned that Ginny and Harry postponed the wedding to wait until he was ready to join them again. He learned about how her expedition went and about the rumors going around that her and Rolf Scamander were an item (which she confirmed was true for only a short time). And he learned that both their fathers had worked together to keep the Malfoy family out of prison. Arthur Weasley knew the feeling of doing anything to protect their loved ones and surprisingly Xenophilius Lovegood was actually good friends with Lucius Malfoy (at one point in time they both ran in the same "pureblood circles") before he had become a Death Eater.

To say George had been surprised had been an understatement. So the Malfoy's were ruled innocent. After the charity donations from Lucius Malfoy and restoration projects supervised by Narcissa and Draco (plus the fact mother and son had both saved Harry in their own way did help a lot), the Malfoy's were once again high society and highly respected. What was even more surprising was learning that someone as beautiful and pure as Luna was happily dating someone as cold and unfeeling as Draco Malfoy. But Luna claimed that he wasn't cold. He just followed the wrong path at first then stayed on it to protect his family. He wasn't an evil person. As usual, Luna saw things no one else did. So it was just George without a happy ending.

But Luna understood how George was feeling with the new information. Whatever they talked about would be kept between them and no one else. She always listened when he was ready to talk and she would hold him when he needed to cry. Their relationship wasn't like it was back at Hogwarts. Now she was his best friend and greatest comfort.

_There maybe other people like us  
Who see the flicker of a clipper when they light up  
Flames just create us but burns don't heal like before  
And you don't hold me anymore_

She had helped him a lot for the times she was there. They both knew he was improving. He had stayed sober for the months that she had taken care of him. She was even able to bring more people to visit him…well she was able to bring Bill, Fleur, and baby Victoire around to visit him…but it was still a start. He was able to smile for his big brother and even play around with his niece.

When they left, she decided to finally breach a topic that they had avoided during their talks. "You know, you're not the only one hurting. The war hurt everybody. Maybe it's time to open up to other people."

George looked down into his cup. "I don't think I'm ready yet."

She watched as he took a sip before she continued. "I understand that you have a right to feel worse than everyone else. Every mirror you look into is your own Mirror of Erised…so your healing process will be slower and more different than everyone else's." He looked up at her knowing well that she did understand him, but he said nothing. She sighed and pulled out a piece of parchment. "Professor McGonagall…or Headmistress McGonagall now, is throwing a ball at Hogwarts to celebrate its restoration completion. I think you should go."

She got up to go as George stared at the invitation on the table. If he decided to go, this would be his first real event since…that day…since Fred died…

He was so immersed in the invitation that he didn't notice Luna put a fruit on the table before leaving. "It's a dirigible plum. It should open your mind a little because I think the wrackspurts are clouding your judgment right now."

If George hadn't taken a bite out of that strange fruit, he wouldn't have realized that that was the first time he thought about Fred's death without needing to be held by either Luna or Ron. Maybe he _should_ go to this ball.

_On cold days cold plays out like the band's name  
I know I can't heal things with a handshake  
You know I can change, as I began saying  
You cut me wide open like landscape  
Open bottles of beer but never champagne  
To applaud you with the sound that my hands make_

After an internal battle with himself, he finally decided that this would be his breakthrough. He was going to go to a party with his friends and family and attempt to be the same George that made a joke about losing an ear. Thanks to Luna's care of his laundry and flat, it didn't take long for him to actually look decent before apparating to Hogsmeade.

He was cold and alone but Hogwarts was full of people dancing and laughing and overall enjoying themselves that he felt an instant warmth that he only felt when Luna took care of him. Anybody who had a part in the war was there to celebrate. It didn't take long for George to spot his family. They waved him over and he took a deep breath before continuing in that direction.

His mother put baby Victoire back in Fleur's arms and reached him first with her arms open ready to give him a big hug, so tight it was as though she was trying to hold on to help to make sure he'll never leave her. She put her hands on both sides of his face. "Hmm…you seem a bit peaky but at least you're eating. I'll have to thank Luna later, she's such a dear for looking out for you." She gave him a big smile before moving out of the way to let the others greet him.

Everyone was excited to see him. Ginny gave him a big hug and a kiss on his cheek and Ron gave him a pat on the back. "Didn't think you'd make it…Ginny was threatening to drag you out of your flat if you hadn't arrived a moment ago." Ron's comment earned him a chuckle from Harry, a back hand up the side of his head from Ginny, and a jab in the ribs from Hermione.

George laughed at the sight. He really did miss them. It wasn't long until Luna finally joined them with Draco Malfoy on her arm. She gave him a hug as well. "I'm glad you came." She looked at his family, Ron especially. "I told you he would."

Ron rolled his eyes. George wanted to make some kind of joke against Ron but didn't really feel like he had it in him. He didn't even notice when Draco Malfoy began speaking to him. "It's good to see you, George. I just wanted to let you know that you have my deepest sympathies."

George honestly felt really awkward hearing anything nice or decent come out of Malfoy's mouth being directed at him. Luna gave Draco's arm a comforting squeeze and he continued. "I know we had our fair share of differences in the past, but I hope you can put that behind you and maybe we can all start over…" Draco held out his hand to George as a sign of peace.

The tension was already building a little. George looked at the others who had nervous looks on their faces. One look at them and he knew that they had already made their amends with Draco and his family and were afraid of how he'd take it. Luna, of course, didn't feel the tension of having to wait for his decision. She looked confident that everything would turn out fine. As usual, she was right. George had accepted Draco's hand in a friendly handshake with a smile. "Yes, I'd like that…" Draco gave him a genuine smile as well as a smile to everyone else looking on. They had all let out a sigh of release. Luna wrapped an arm around Draco's waist and hugged him.

Everyone took a glass of champagne to celebrate. George looked at his glass. It had been a while since he'd had anything to celebrate. A handshake wasn't going to change the past….but it was a start on the road to recovery. It was the first step to change. He was willing to accept that.

_Should I? Should I?  
Maybe I'll get drunk again  
I'll be drunk again, I'll be drunk again  
To feel a little love_

About an hour and a half into the ball, George wanted to leave but felt that he owed it to his family to stay there. Besides, McGonagall was going to reveal a new addition to the school in a few moments. Might as well stay for that if nothing else. But there was just too much happiness and love. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it. It's not like he was ever alone in the past with Fred by his side.

He was about to let his family know he was leaving until he was greeted by someone else. "George, it's good to see you outside of your flat." He gave a small smile (or at least tried to) to Angelina. He had to admit she did look beautiful in her dress.

"It's good to see you as well, unfortunately I must get going." He tried to move past her but she grabbed his arm.

"Oh, don't leave yet. Headmistress McGonagall was about to reveal the new addition to the school." And right on queue, the Headmistress had everyone ushered into a newly added wing.

Angelina kept a hold on his arm as she dragged him into the new hall. The Headmistress started her speech about the war, and about the commission to build this new hall, and what it stood for and blah blah blah…George barely payed attention until she finally got to her point.

"And at last, I present to you…The Hall of Heroes." She turned toward the wall as the curtain covering it fell to reveal the entire wall covered in photographs of those who died during the Battle of Hogwarts. It was surreal to see all those faces…those who died so everyone else could have a better future. There were faces he recognized and faces he didn't. It didn't take George long for him to zero in on a picture of himself next to his very alive looking twin brother. Had George kept his gaze on the photo much longer, he wouldn't have realized that candles were being passed around.

McGonagall had asked everyone to take a candle and light it and as it would float to the top, to say the name of someone who died in either the first or second wizarding war: a candlelight vigil. George didn't take a candle because he couldn't bear to do it, but he watched intently as others did.

Professor McGonagall went first. "Albus Dumbledore."

Then others followed suit. "Colin Creevey."

"Lavender Brown."

"Sirius Black."

"Severus Snape."

George saw a woman who shared a resemblance to both Tonks and Narcissa Malfoy carrying a toddler in one of her arms, Teddy Lupin. She let go of her lit candle and helped her grandson light and let go of his as she said two names, "Remus and Nymphadora Lupin."

George turned to see Harry light a candle and let it go as he said, "James and Lily Potter."

The rush of pain George felt made him wish he had left sooner…or at least drank more to escape the pain he felt in his chest.

_All by myself, I'm here again  
All by myself, you know I'll never change  
All by myself  
All by myself_

George stood in his same spot for possibly an hour more just looking at the picture of him and his brother during happier times. Everyone else had either left or migrated elsewhere and he was going to do the same but he couldn't find the strength to move. What broke him from his trance was the feeling of another hand slide into one of his. He turned his head to see Angelina give him a sad smile.

"The final stage of grief is acceptance…" She handed him a candle and gave his hand a comforting squeeze.

George let out a big sigh as well as a single tear. He nodded at her and took the candle and with a spell, lit it. "Incendio." He watched it burn for a little, feeling mesmerized by the dancing flame. With another big sigh, he let the candle go and as he watched it lift towards the ceiling to join the other candles of the fallen. One name sealed his acceptance as well as began his closure: "Fred Weasley."

_I'm just drunk again  
I'll be drunk again  
I'll be drunk again  
To feel a little love_

Years later, when Voldemort was just a topic for veteran war stories and Hogwarts textbooks, George and Angelina had a family of their own to raise. George looked down at his newborn son. "Hello Fred." He smiled at the baby and he could've sworn the baby smiled back with a mischievous grin.

He'll admit that he may never truly be happy again, but at least he knew now the feeling of love that he thought he lost a long time ago. All was truly well.

**Umm…yeah…that was harder than expected, which is probably why I don't feel so proud of it but how'd I do, I guess? Please excuse me for characterization issues and/or song meaning stuff. Like I said, this wasn't the easiest thing for me to write.**

**Please review**

**-tin2lo**


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